Growing up I had a stay at home mom. It has taken me several years to fully understand what that meant. Now I can honestly say that because of her, I am who I am today. There was always a comfort and peace knowing that whenever I came home, my mom would be there to ask how my day was, even when all I could say was barely a grunted "fine". I never questioned whether or not I would come home to an empty house, because my mom was always there. I could always count on her to make great meals, have the shopping done, or have my laundry cleaned folded and put in my room. On top of it all she fulfilled her church assignments and always had time to listen and comfort her family and friends. She made it look so easy, like there was nothing to being a stay at home mom. Later I have learned that couldn't be further from the truth.
My mom was always there for me and for my six other siblings. She was always involved in everything we did. I remember throughout my elementary years, she would be in my classroom once a week volunteering her time, making me feel like I was the most important person in her life. And when my friends from High School needed a place to go and study during and after school, my house was the choice because we all knew my mom was there and surely there would be something delicious to eat! She and my dad supported all seven of us in our various activities (which were many), never once complaining that these took all their precious time. I can only remember one time in my Senior year that she couldn't make my choir concert; there were three other concerts/games going on in my family at the same time. I remember her coming to me, with tears in her eyes, explaining that try as she might, she couldn't make the concert. I was shocked that she felt so badly. I knew that the other kids needed her at that time more than I did and I was just fine about it. She still feels bad, but she shouldn't at all.
Every baby born into my family was a grand event. We never even realized how much work one baby could be because mom made it look so natural, so exciting, and again, so easy. When I had my first baby I wondered how she did it with seven! My baby took all my time, that even a shower became a 5 minute luxury, getting the mail was the big outing for the day and who had time to curl your hair? This was more work than I ever did in my life! Then 2 1/2 years later I had twins! I realized for the first time in my 23 years that being a stay at home mom was harder than any job on this earth! And yet there was my mom, who, with 5 kids ranging from 4yrs-12yrs still at home, took many weekends to come to my home and rescue me! She was even brave enough to take all of them for occasional weekends at Grandma's. I often asked how she did it? I was going to go insane! She was always there reassuring me that I was going to make it just fine, even when I didn't feel like it. Six years later mom was right back with me helping me again with baby #4. I remember the day she left to go home. There I was, baby in hand, and three young children at my feet, crying, and telling my mom that I didn't think I could do this on my own. She hugged me and again reassured me that I would be just fine. I cried harder as she turned and stepped onto the plane. Years later, that reassurance has helped me with life's demands and growing teenagers.
You see, my mom chose to be a stay at home mom, because she knew how this would bless her family. Even when she was bombarded by the world in the 1970's telling women that they needed to free themselves from the bonds of family and head into the workforce because that is where their true identity was, my mom knew better. She knew that her role as a woman, wife and mother was far more important than any other career outside the home. She even took on babysitting to help supplement the income, but more because she offered a secure comfort for other children. For her, the choice was clear: she would stay home and raise seven wonderful children, while supporting her husband and maintaining the home to be a refuge from the storms of the world her family was facing every day. Did my mom want to throw in the towel at times? Oh, I don't doubt it at all. She would remind us on occasion how important her role was by declaring that if we didn't step up and help out, she would go on strike! That was a threat none of us wanted to become real.
Although my mom isn't perfect (who is for that matter), she did make a perfect choice and set a perfect example for all of her children. You see, because of her, each of her four daughters have chosen to stay at home and raise their children just how mom raised us; with all the love, security and comfort of being stay at home moms. My love and admiration for my mom as grown so much through the years and I will always be grateful for my stay at home mom.
